Today’s post tells a brief story of the grieving process from a mother’s perspective – and serves as an example of acceptance and hope for all of you readers looking for the affirmation that there are others out there like you, who are also grieving the pain of separation from their child.
If you’ve kept up with previous posts to this site you’ll already have become familiar with my daughter Leila, a helicopter pilot lost in a crash five years ago. It was her mother Marie’s encouragement which resulted in the writing and publishing of a book about my daughter’s life and loss – and my healing from it.
This is a story taken from that book.
“Marie had been totally serious when she encouraged me to write a book about Leila and I. And she’s backed up this encouragement with a package she’s sent on ahead via Greyhound to one of my anticipated locations.
It thoughtfully contains a copy of the newspaper with Leila’s second-year memoriam she’s placed in it for this year.
This two-year memoriam, in the form of a short letter to her daughter from a mother whose heart has been shattered way harder than mine, deserves to be written here.
Because it tells you who it is that carried her through those times on an empty beach when there’s only one set of footprints; when you’re crying out asking, “Where are you God? How come there’s only one set of footprints here? I thought we were walking together!”
And the answer you get back in your broken heart is His voice saying, “There’s only one set of footprints my child, because that’s when I was carrying you.”
Here’s what it has to say…
Leila
Helicopter Pilot
Aug 9, 1975 – Aug 8, 2002
Dearest Daughter,
I miss you so much the pain is unbearable. I wish that I could’ve been a better mother; I wish that I could’ve given you more of my time. I raised you blindly and tried my best. You grew up fast and matured too young. With your strong determination and tenacity, you set your goals high in life and succeeded in your dreams. Through all that – you found room for me and forgave me. You showed me your strength and unconditional love for me, a mother who never knew a mother’s love. You not only became my pride and joy but we found love and respect for each other. Most of all, we became friends. I am profoundly honored to have had you in my life. I was truly blessed. I cannot be angry at God for taking you away; rather, I am in awe of the miracle of love and wisdom through you He gave to me.
Fly High With His Heavenly Love Beneath Your Wings
Love Forever – Mom
This letter says it all, and though the pain of its truth still spikes your
heart, there’s this message of gratitude to the One who carried her then, and
still carries her today inch by inch – or better yet – step by step, just like
the rest of us grievers.”
With Love and Understanding,
Ken Matthies
HeartSpun Posts from the Crucible of Experience
Story excerpt taken from the book “I Know You’re Hurting” by Ken Matthies
available online at http://www.kenmatthies.com/
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