My granddaughter turned ten years old the other day, and it was as I was calling her to wish her happy birthday that I realized she was already twice as old as the day her mother died. On my granddaughter’s scale of years she has lived another whole lifetime over the past five years.
Anyone who has experienced the pain of a loved one’s loss can identify with the concept of a whole lifetime having passed since that death occurred. It’s for certain that my granddaughter can.
There’s no question the bite of her loss still grips her in talking about her momma, as evidenced by the little catch in her voice as she speaks about it. Yet it’s the loving clarity of heart, mind and memory with which this little girl talks about it that gives pause to my own years of hurt since her mother’s loss.
I discovered in this birthday call that the vision and memories of her momma still live and burn just as brightly in her heart as they did that entire lifetime ago for her. Despite an eternal pain of loss that still lives within me, I find a wonderfully healing and comforted feeling in my own heart because of these still living visions of a child, and believe there’s a profoundly simple yet powerful lesson about grief to be found in it.
I’ve come to realize that it’s this goodness of vision and memory about our lost loved ones which we take out and carry with us from our own seemingly endless lifetime of loss, that holds a key to the future of our ultimate healing.
Sometimes it’s the little things – as exemplified in this instance by the words of a ten year old girl – which bring us to new points of gratitude in understanding that it’s this goodness of vision and memories that binds up the wounds of our grief – and gives us hope for the lifetime yet to be lived.
Words spoken out of the mouths of babes can help us find healing from loss, grief and bereavement too.
With Love and Understanding,
Ken Matthies
HeartSpun Posts from the Crucible of Experience
• Enjoy this blog post? Get Free updates by email or RSS
• Need help or a consultation? Contact this Expert
• Share this post on your favorite bookmarking site
• Someone you know would like to read this? Email this blog to them